Stormy Weather

“I learned that the opposite of faith is not doubt, but fear.” – Philip Yancey

 

I can’t help but think about how the passage I read this morning was completely appropriate for me today. Lately, I’ve been going through some stormy emotional moments and days, dealing with being alone, some personal issues, and just being utterly exhausted from everything. It doesn’t help that on my lowest of days it tends to be raining, right? I think it’s funny that this time of my life kinda matches the weather. You know we all have good shining days where it’s the perfect temperature, the wind is blowing just the right amount of air our way, and it seems like nature is at it’s most beautiful. Then, comes the typical April showers or thunderstorms. We know that the earth needs this water to replenish and help the beauties of creation grown more wonderful and appealing to the eyes, but sometimes it just causes big inconveniences. Just like me I have had some sunny, happy days amongst all the hard times I’ve been through the past couple months, beautifully peaceful and calming moments. However, lately I’ve been having some dreary, rainy eye days. I know in the same way I need to go through these days of rain to replenish my soul because in these days I too grow more beautiful. Yet, it’s hard to see through the eye of the storm, it can be quite frightening.

So this morning I read about the time when Jesus was out boating with his disciples. Meanwhile, a big ferocious storm came. Jesus slept through it! However, the disciples panicked because they were afraid and woke Jesus up.

 “[Jesus] replied, “You of little faith, why are you so afraid?” Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the waves, and it was completely calm.” Matthew 8:26. (my favorite number is 8 and I’m 26 years old, ironic huh?)

Wow! First of all, Jesus was sleeping. Isn’t that how it feels sometimes when we are going through hard times? Is God just sleeping and when will he wake up and help us?  Second, he is powerful and can easily calm our storms. Third, he calls the disciples out on the fact that they had little faith and lots of fear. Truly, I see now that the opposite of faith is not doubt, it really is fear. How often do I live in fear and not by anchoring my faith in the peaceful waters of hope and mercy? It’s normal to have doubts that things might not work out the way we expect but to fear the worst is such a nasty attack on God. He only wants the best for us and what happens might not be what we see as best in our finite nature.

How different would the story have went if the disciples just cuddled up and fell asleep next to Jesus in the midst of the storm? What if during my cold stormy, rainy eyed days, when I’m missing companionship and warmth, I hold tight to the tranquil Jesus? Wouldn’t I find the best example of how to weather the storms of life if I curled up and fell asleep praying for the rains of God’s mercy and timing to wash me clean? I would be able to find comfort in the words I read today from Ann Cetas, “We can find moments of peace when we’re anchored to the truth that He’s in the boat with us and He cares.”