A Beautiful Life

“Remember, no effort that we make to attain something beautiful is ever lost.” – Helen Keller

            Although sometimes there is stormy weather in my soul, most of the time there is sunshine. I’m really enjoying being a single parent of a brand new kitty, Wallace, in my own apartment. I had a swell of complete joy in my soul the other day walking around my apartment and thought to myself “I never want to leave.”

            I’ve been reading about how your home is a reflection of your personality and it is so true, or at least it should be. The times in my life where my surrounding area is a mess with clean/dirty laundry and just complete clutter are the times when I’m going a little crazy inside as well. It’s nice that life works that way for me, because it’s a good reminder to clean things up and get back on track. Lately, I’ve been very organized and very on track with making my life a beautiful one. I’ve been trying to clear the chaos and clutter from my apartment, my email inboxes and my body. Wallace has been enjoying his clean spacious life in a warm and cozy apartment (except he doesn’t like when I vacuum), my mail and bills have been organized and my body is slowly saying goodbye to lbs.           

            Physically, I’ve been becoming healthier eating lots of edamame (my new favorite veggie, fresh and dry) and other healthier options. I’ve been working out on my days off unless I’m too comatose from night shift, but usually I’m workin’ it and losing lbs along the way. Yay! For all who do not know, I’m on a Biggest Loser Challenge adventure for myself and can’t wait for the day I will be sitting on a tropical beach with my new lean body in a bikini sipping some kind of drink with an umbrella. What a proud moment that will be for me! Anyone is welcome to join me on that journey and sit along side me with their skinnier self basking in the sun. Just let me know, and I will get you started!

            Mentally, I’ve been churning the wheels of my brain to move towards a massage therapy part-time career. I really want to be able to pass on my spirit and tranquility through my healing hands in that way one fine day. Whenever I do actually get myself started on that journey I will be looking for volunteers to practice on so make sure you are available. I’ve been keeping myself mentally busy in other ways too. Crocheting blankets for my babies at work, playing Sudoku here and there, and playing Farm Town. All is well!

            Emotionally, I’m doing okay. I have still been seeing my therapist and working out my feelings and trying to heal my wounds. However, the wounds are still raw and sore. It’s hard, but I’m learning how to heal wounds which is an excellent lesson. No schooling I’ve had can do that for me and I will be a more excellent healer in my future. Who knows what kind of career that will help me fulfill but I know my psych, nursing, and massage therapy degrees will be benefited from my own life lessons I’m sure. It’s good to know that there is healing if we ask. Tears can bring that. Although, it may be unpleasant and painful at times, crying can be good for the soul. I had a moment the other day driving home from therapy. I was sad about some emotionally painful issues and I was weeping and then came the down pour of rain. I could only help but think that God was crying too. He knew what I was crying about and I felt he too was crying over the same thing. It was very spiritually connecting and refreshing.     

            Spiritually, I’ve had some really awesome connections. I really truly am blessed and sooooo thankful that my spirit is back. Those who see changes in me mostly attribute it to me being single but I, and some of you, know that is not the case. The reality is that I have found my soul again and I am trying to become a more whole, complete and authentic self.

I want to be ME and the best and most beautiful one I can be. I want to be the mother I know I can be and one day I will meet my precious children, but in God’s timing. I will one day be a solid and awesome wife for one amazing and lucky man. Most importantly though, I will be ME and I will never compromise that again. It is and will be a truly beautiful life. =)