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Life has been a little anxiety provoking lately, mostly in an exciting eustress kinda way. I have been getting myself prepared from my Margarita party, becoming a healthier me (lost 10lbs and a very much improved fitness level) and enjoying summer as much as possible. I also been plunging back into the dating world, it’s a little scary sometimes but I’m just trying to take things slow and see where this relationship may lead. I know, I know…it’s the year for me to find myself and fall in love with myself and God. Hence, there has been a bunch of stress in learning how to juggle all of this.

I am definitely missing the times I had when I was just starting out in my apartment. The lack of furniture and kitten provided much breathing room. I was able to focus on one day at a time much easier then. Yet, I was dealing with a lot of hard emotions. I have to remind myself of this. I really need to remind myself that life is not a race and that I need to SLOW DOWN. I’m still trying to relax by candlelight at night and to listen to my relaxing music. However, I’m not drinking my tea as much and I’m not blogging or being as creative as I was anymore. This may be partly due to feeling like a guilty parent for leaving Wallie alone for long hours and wanting to spend time with him. Also, there is the excitement of getting to know a new person who is very intriguing and wanting to give him as much attention as I can.

I definitely need to keep tabs on all these distractions. I am praying that Wallie grows up soon, but unfortunately I think he will always be an attention whore when he is a full grown cat. So I might just have to stop feeling guilty and learn to lock him out of the bathroom when I want to take a nice relaxing lavender bath. I am also trying to keep in mind that ME time is important and I need to not put that by the wayside in a relationship again. God is definitely reminding me and I’m soooooo happy that He is more a part of my life than ever before. In the midst of my night shift and stress the other day this is what happened. God is awesome!

I came out of the hospital after a long night shift and decided to stroll the city a little before getting on my normal train platform. I walked past this old church that I think is neat because of the plaque on the outside stating that it’s the place where Ben Franklin apparently flew his famous kite. Anywho, I was feeling the spirit of relaxation, definitely a slow down moment. This is when I saw the sign “The place where you are right now, God circled on a map for you.” Wow, right?! I had a clear visual picture of me standing looking at a small chunk of the map of my life, in full zoom in mode. At this point, I am not to see the whole map because that would be WAY overwhelming, too much information, attractions and destinations. All that God wants me to know is that I am in the circled “You are here” area. I should be enjoying the attractions within this small diameter, and not being too anxious to rush in any direction.

Yesterday, I totally enjoyed where I am. I got to spend the day with one of the most special people in my life, my Gram. God is a amazing and I am lucky to have such a wonderful grandmom! We spent the day shopping (DSW, Target, Hallmark, Acme) and getting a bite to eat. Then, I got to have dinner with her that night and spent time playing cards with her, GGpop, Ernie and Nancy. I really cherished this and can’t wait to plan next month’s adventure with her. God really showed me that I must not rush time, because one day my Gram will not be on my map. I won’t be able to visit her, and I need to cherish today, this moment. I am here…I hope you look at your map and see your “You are here” circle and arrow. Enjoy the area of your life that God circled for you at the moment and don’t try to rush around your map!