Always Be My Home

“We are congenitally overcharged and overbuilt for this earth, infinite spirits living in a finite situation.” – Ronald Rolheiser

I have been meditating a lot on this idea of home. I have felt uneasy and vulnerable thinking that I am not really sheltered by this world. I have felt alone and cold in a stormy place. I have felt that I didn’t really have a home anymore. We are beings made for another world and I often feel this tension.

Instead of communicating this to God, I tend to complain about it and do little work to make myself more comfortable. When I neglect my prayer life, I am being destructive and allowing my life to be chaotic. It’s like building a house without a contractor and his blueprints. A house can be built but it most likely won’t be very cozy or it might not even be sturdy enough to weather the storms. So then it seems quite silly to not communicate with the One that has the best plan for my life.

So when it gets stormy I become frantic trying to seek adequate shelter. That’s silly too. I should be prepared. Homes are usually built when the weather is good. So why do I often want to try to scramble to get all my spiritual work done on hard and rainy days? I should be building my faith on sunny happy days when I have the most energy and the best conditions.

Also, I was feeling the strain of trying to put God in a box into a literal home with me. I wanted God to be in my home and I was feeling like there wasn’t an adequate place for this building. However, I was reassured that God can reside in my heart and I can take Him with me wherever I go. So now I’m trying to build a more suitable home in my heart. I know that Christ lives there but I have to practice my faith more so that it can be a more peaceful and rested heart and home that God deserves to live in. But what a relief! I don’t feel so lonely anymore. The sunny days seem brighter and on the cold days I have God’s love to wrap around me and keep me warm. My spirit is finally starting to feel functional in this crazy world because my home is never too far away.